Wow...you sound like I did a few months ago. Actually, how I feel on my down days. One reason I haven't been posting.
I have to say I love, love, love your writing style...(i know, not on subject, but who doesn't need a little praise every now and again.)
It will get easier. You will suddenly realize that its been an hour since you last thought of H. and then two hours...you get the picture. And it sounds like you are almost there.
I don't see it mentioned much on the forums, but have you ever thought of an anti-anxiety med? You seem to have an active mind, like myself, one that doesn't ever seem to shut off. An anti-anxiety med would help slow down your thinking and help you sleep or work. its not something you would have to take every day either.
I know hope is hard to find...but it is there. And you will be so surprised when and where you find it. Just keep looking. Keep your mind and heart open.
Let me know when you need some hope and I will be here for you!
