Hey T.. .I'm so sorry that the lunch precipitated a bit of a crisis. I think I said, that it seemed a big effort, to do a 4 hour round trip to see him.. so I guess he may have been able to 'smell you' as you put it, and like Kalni said, its ok, he just wanted to put a little boundary there (bit of a brake?)
What I think is really interesting, is that he STILL wants to meet you in January.. lets look at it this way.. you are not very much in contact, so you are not really friends hanging out. So it wouldnt be *that* big a loss to cut contact with you.. and yet.. he DID smell you were wanting to make an effort to see him but he is still ok with meeting in January. I sort of think, if he definetly wasnt interested in you and didnt want to lead you on, he would probablay avoid the January thing, tell you he is busy. Can you see what I mean?
As for the control aspects.. go back and read the Pluto/Moon stuff as that is all about control of emotions, yours and of others and I do think that you maybe have some more lessons to learn there.. like someone said, to really love someone is to let them go and respect their space.
I have known my ex for 13 years and lived with him for 8 1/2 years, he is now not in contact with me and I accept that. Yes it hurts, yes I miss him, yes, why cant he see I am his soulmate? But its not because *I* am not lovable (as your post above muses)... its that one person in 6 billion has decided he doesnt want to share his life with me anymore.
I know Essie and Lisa have great advice and get great results, but I sort of think your ex is an intelligent guy and will 'see through' any attempts to say you are having so much fun being single you are not interested in an R. I just sort of wouldnt go there! He had the bravery to ask a direct question of you, so you wouldnt want to fall into that trap !
I think, ironically, if you really gave up, let go... he might wonder what happened to you.
I am thinking of contacting my ex..a little part of me still loves him.. we were together 4 1/2 years and broke up 14 years ago. Love never dies, but we do seem to need a long time to really reflect and appreciate what we had and lost. I guess you are trying to fasttrack him into noticing and he is a bright guy and has made an attempt to slow it down.
Whether that means its an ending, or just a lets slow down a little here, I cant tell. Like I said, I am intrigued that he sitll wants to see you next time, lucky you! Its better than nothing T, like Essie and Julia say, that IS a positive!! Hugs to you sweetie pie, you are amazing. You are talented, caring, funny, intelligent, gorgeous, dedicated, incredibly thoughtful and unique....
It is his loss, absolutely. As it is my ex's and Lisas and Essies and Julia's...
