...just got a call this morning from my W asking if I could keep S2 home with me today, since he woke around 4am and threw up...I said of course...and she kept asking me if I had anything else scheduled so she could leave her work early and come get him. I said no, I don't have anything pressing, and would just stay with him today...
When I got online, I noticed that she had also sent me an email around 5am saying the same thing: ................... Hi,
[S2] woke up at 4.30 and threw up. I don't think he should go to school today, since he still hasn't had much to eat. I have a lot to do at work since I left early yesterday and am taking next week off-- is there any way you can stay home with [S2] today? If you have anything scheduled, maybe we can work around it.
Please let me know.
Thanks,
[W]
.......................... So...she did have to mention that she left work early yesterday (which was because I had asked her if she could pick up S2 early from me) - and she did her usual thing of not even typing my name into the note...which may seem like nothing - but happens to be very unusual for her - though all of her emails to me have been that for the last few months...she won't type my name...
Anyway...I'm glad that I can stay home with S2 today - especially since I know he loves being home with me - and right now he's just mesmerized by the lights around the Christmas tree - and the lights I put up yesterday around the chimney...
Volleydog - thanks for swinging by - I thought it was wonderful that your wife put up your stocking.
WIT - I was wondering about how you're doing...I also just wanted to let you know that reading about your journey through self-healing helped me understand my approach my wife more. For a while, I still had something Patricia Evans wrote in her book floating through my head - in that she claimed that abusive women can't change - or are unwilling to change - at least that has been the case in her practice...and sometimes, reading through this board, it seems like the way my W has been/become simply meant our M was a doomed enterprise...reading about your work and your willingness to improve let me know that there is a chance...and that made me more patient and open.
I'm still detached, keeping my distance, giving my W all the space she needs - and am moving on with my life as I have to - and I'm also seeing my wife in a different light - and feeling a lot more compassion for her pain - and am even more resolved not to engage her in her anger/battles - since I can see more and more how little they really have to do with me.
