When do the tears go away ?

[whitneypinch]

Thank you all for the guidance.
I have started reading all the resources you have mentioned.
I have come to realize that my ex W fell out of love with me as I became weak and insecure. When she met me I was an Alpha male and through a number of situations became needy, critical etc.
There is a piece here that sometimes I think is glazed over. When we became weak, critical etc. did our wives show us any compassion? Did they say to us "hey, what's the matter, are you ok"? I can tell you my W did not. She was critical to me and really never said anything until she fell out of love.
It's takes 2 to mess things up, yet we are blamed 100% for the breakdown in our marriage.
Yes, we will all try our best to rekindle the feelings but as we all know they will come back to us if "they" want to. We can't do much about that.
My W is spending so much time on dating etc. She is just like the rest in that she has a million sayings about how the kids will be fine etc.. There is a lot to be said about their character. Yes, we all love our WAS and do our best to try to fix things but there has to come to a point where we say "we are doing it all and they are doing nothing". We at least need some them doing some work. Yes, I know they worked for years and we let them down.
I guess I am just venting some frustration right now !!!
Boy, it sure would be great if our WAW would just pick up the phone and say "I am hurting, you really hurt me, but I care about this family and our marriage" How many of us got that speech? Not too many. Most of us got the "I want a divorce" speech.
Someone say something nice today.....I am not feeling so great towards my ex right now.....what a roller-coaster, and I want off.