Depression is a disorder documented in the DSM-IV. The counselor will be familiar with the key symptoms and diagnosis. If he/she says that hubby's behavior is not consistent with depression, she's probably right.
There are other reasons for a person to have lost the love. It could just be an accumulation of hurt or apathy. years of silence. years of lack of nourishment. or other things. just because a spouse has lost the feeling, or feels he has nothing left to give, does not mean the spouse is clinically depressed.
I am not suggesting any of this applies directly to you or your husband SC. Only to say, be careful in dismissing what the experts say.
I am no expert, but clinical depression implies specific behaviors and cognitive patterns. Lack of sleep. Fall off in work performance. avoidance of previously enjoyable activities. and also the constant view that things are worse than they actually are. If the psych says "he is not depressed", there are good reasons.
We here on this board like to classify all our spouses into the MLC or "depressed" bucket. We like to put them in that bucket and explain away all their behavior and that gives us a rationale and it also, is sometimes used to conveniently excuse ourselves from responsibility for the situation.
But sometimes it is not "MLC". Sometimes the spouse is walking away because the marriage is no good, and he or she needs to get out, to get air. That is not MLC, that is a person responding to their own needs.
all this is just a caution for all of us to be careful in rationalizing.
On the other hand, when your husband says he feels nothing but turmoil, revulsion when he is with you... That sure seems like mid-life crisis material to me.
