Sis, don't feel bad that you told him he didn't live there anymore. It's true and he is going to have to face the truth eventually before he can hit bottom.
I will tell you this, Gabe came and mowed my lawn many times over this last growing season without me asking him. He's also come and cleaned my gutters out and even took the car once for an oil change. All the lawn and house stuff he did without asking me. I came home and it was done. They do it out of guilt BBJ. They know that what they have done to their family is totally unacceptable and it eats at them. They feel that if they do these little duties then they are still "taking care" of us. So, is Dan's LL AOS? He needs to feel needed.
My suggestion, if Dan shows up and does things for you then let him. If you need to justify it to yourself then tell yourself that he's doing it for the kids safety, wellbeing, whatever. In some ways he really is. It will take a while for you not to feel like he is invading your space by doing this. He's really not trying to make it seem that you can't do it yourself, he knows you can and that thought of being useless to you terrifies him! I guarantee it.
Hold on to your faith BBJ. God will get you through all of this. Don't forget the song - "Hold Fast"
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43 bomb12/4/07 PA5/07 S12/26/07 D final 11/17/08 Back together with no defined R 05/2010 confused....to say the least!!!
