Hi Beth, Wrapping that gift for your H and just having there at the ready sounds wonderful and very generous. It also just sounds like a beautiful gift.
A bit of journaling....
I had to contact my W at her work today to ask her if she would mind coming by early to pick up our baby tonight since I had been invited to a special screening of Gran Torino at the Writer's Guild. I didn't tell her where I was going - just that I had a commitment come up tonight - and she agreed to come by early. So, when she did come by a friend of mine was here - who had just learned today what has been going on with my M...She pulled just as I stepped into the back of the house - and I didn't hear her call my phone...by the time I walked out to the living room, my friend had opened the front door - but couldn't see anyone outside - and so I had to open the door all the way - and finally found my W standing outside...this time with the car parked under the car port (though it wasn't raining).
She looked so sad and unhealthy - it was just heartbreaking - and for a moment I thought it was just me - but then once she left my friend turned to me and said he hardly recognized my W. She didn't say hello to him - which was odd because she had always been nice to him in the past - and she barely acknowledged him when he tried to start up a quick conversation...as we drove to the screening, he told me that he just didn't think her behavior seemed normal...and that he was surprised at how cold and distant she was with me - even though I sounded so open and friendly...she even turned her back on me and kept walking away as I was trying to tell her that our S2 had bad diarrhea and that he seemed to have an upset belly...it was only when I kept talking at her back that she finally turned and acknowledged that I had said anything at all...it was so very strange...and sad...and seeing her convinced my friend that she was not the same person he had met just eight months ago...he was shocked at how much she had changed and ended up telling me about a friend of his who was diagnosed with manic depression - and just how disconnected this friend would be when in his depressed phases...it made me very sad to hear another person see my wife as so lost inside her own body...it was so strange...she actually looked almost ghost-like tonight...
Anyway...when I got home tonight I sent her a brief note just thanking her for coming by early tonight to get our baby...kept it simple and straightforward and friendly. It felt like the right thing to do....
