Also I asked H if he filled out the papers as a rental or residence, he said rental. I said you need to be careful since you are planning to live there, you don't want to get into trouble for lying on a loan app.

Then he said, "No, I didn't do it as a RENTAL, I did it as an investment property. That can mean anything. It could mean I am going to sit on it for 3 months and then sell it..." WTF. Can't believe he is even falsifying his loan app. to avoid telling the realtor "I am leaving my wife and need somewhere to live". Geez

OK time to relax and clean out my mind, want some peaceful happy thoughts before bed.

Someone tell me why I feel guilty for telling H he doesn't live here anymore? He doesn't.

And also since I am making confessions while I was in the bookstore tonight a man rounded the corner of the aisle in front of me and he had on clothes very similar to Dan's and haircut like Dan's and for a split second, even though I knew it wasnt, it was like I thought Dan was coming around the corner. And I don't know why but then I got the most sick pit of my stomach feeling like when you are about to take a major test or interview for a big job. I couldn't shake that feeling for 20 minutes...I think it is just the reality of everything setting in. He is not rounding the corner to come and see me anymore...

OK I am not having a pity party I am just reflecting... ;\) Really. I am ok. \:\) Got my shopping done and for the first time in 16 years didn't buy H a birthday card or Christmas card, just ones from the kids.

Me-35

Together: 18 yrs
M-12.5 yrs
S-8
D-4
D'd: Feb. 2010

The LORD your God is with you,
he is mighty to save. --Zeph. 3:17