Help, it seems my 35 year old wife is in MLC #13

[Imageer]

Thanks Punkt. I understand what you are saying. It's such a fine line that it's tough not to fall on the wrong side of it.

I support her emotionally by telling her that she will get through this and that she will find a job and listening to her. However last night she asked me if I knew if any of my customers where looking for help. To me, this would be enabling. I'm not about to get her a job with someone I know so that she can continue her crazy life with OW. That just doesn't seem right.

It's getting even tougher now. I found out the other day that she is buying second hand clothes for the kids because she can't afford new clothes. This just drives me nuts. I work my ass off and my kids are running around in second hand clothes! But again, I am opening a can of worms if I offer to give her money to buy the kids clothes. What makes it worse for me is that if I look in her recycling box (beside her front door, I'm not snooping) there are always empty wine and beer bottles. I guess that is more important than new clothes for the kids.

As I type these things it once again makes me realize how messed up she is. This is a woman that would always give in when the kids wanted cookies as they would go to bed because she felt too guilty not too. Now, for the second year in a row, she has chosen to give up the kids on Christmas day. My W always use to dress nice but now she dresses terribly, looks unkept and never wears a bra. She also swears constantly.

The job that she went for the second interview for was with a non-profit company that is mandated to hire 3 people by the end of the year or they loose the funding. The job is doing exactly what my W is trained for and has always been good at. Yet, they won't hire her and risk losing the funding. What does that say about her?

Before the bomb W excelled at her job and always had good reviews and good bonuses. Her boss was also grooming her to take his position. Now she has been fired and has gone on 3 interviews in her field and has been told no 3 times.

Outwardly, it's hard to see the issues when you talk to her. But they are there when you look between the lines. On the other hand our relationship seems be keep getting better. It's actually to the point where S9's teacher told us that she is getting a divorce because she sees how well W and I get along and figures that it will all be ok. (That really pissed me of)

I think I got off topic and started ranting a little here.