Hey Rob...I was feeling so grateful this morning for all I have learnt and been forced to face in myself, really hard work, real character building stuff!
But then.. for some reason, I had a massive moment of clarity today. I realised that my ex has been lying to me, to save himself, for the past 18 months. To not look the bad guy.
I dont know why he persisted in saying "I wasnt interested in her then".. if he was phoning her secretly in Aug/Sep 07 BEFORE leaving me.. and is NOW dating her.. Hmmm.. funny coincidence!
So.. he never replied to my email last week about the mortgages, not even to thank me for sorting out the payments. Its really sad its come to this. But I let him go. I accept now, despite what he has insisted before, during and since the bomb (its not abot her).. that it was about her.
My Dad told me tonight, that when they visited in April 07, my ex was fine, relaxed, excited confiding in my Dad he was going to whisk me off to Mauritius or the Maldives in the summer.. we talked M that April too, with his BMF and W.. then.. he met her end May/early June and that was it. He never came back from that.
So how can he say, he wasnt interested in her? He's now with her and NOT contacting me, in case it rocks the boat with her. I guess he lied.. to protect me, or protect himself.. I am not sure, but I know he feels tremendous guilt.
How his depression fits into this, I dont know, as he clearly has been severly depressed and still is.. perhaps thats why he got lured by her (as she doesnt sound like a step up from me?), becuase he was depressed and unhappy and feeling all dead inside and he externalised his problems and saw her as the answer?
