Bumping this back up, lodo isn't around to holler at me anymore and I finished the thread he started for me over in Hopefulness.
Why does September seem so long ago but 5 years seems like yesterday?
Most days as far as H seem like the same stuff different day except he dangles new carrots or throws more crumbs.
Just last weekend I asked about him doing horse training and lessons again after I had numerous requests from John Q Public. H said 'probably'. That's a pretty big change in his attitude to pick that up again, and also would be a big help to fill the financial void from when he suddenly quit doing it 4 years ago.
The next day I almost clinched a deal to 'lease out' 2 horses which means someone else would be picking up those expenses. I'll know for sure after the holidays. H stood quiet without input. I always wonder what he is thinking but I've learned that I can't pry anything out of him. He is a man of few words even when he talks.
There are other things that makes me think he is really trying to deal with the havoc he has created over the last 5 years but his stubborness and pride are big hurdles that he can't make it over. Of course I don't believe that he just plain old doesn't love me anymore.
While H crawls along slower than a snail on Ritalin my patience has been growing thinner than ice on a heated water tank. I am pushing for change, any change. But I push pretty slow too. sigh.
Live your life while you are still living. Riding the trail less traveled.
