Piecing Friends, I seem to be hitting some turbulence again. My W is highly frustrated. I'm getting yelled at almost daily.
The issues seem to be her wanting me to make more money, to spend more time at home, to cook for her periodically, to be more intimate physically, wanting more food in the house, and to have a better mood when I'm home.
She's also upset about past events. She's upset about the separation agreement we had four years ago. She accuses me of trying to steal her money. She wants me to promise that I won't touch any money of hers if we were to reach a point of division of property.
I have over a half dozen angry emails I need to read today from her.
She's upset that I wasn't in a cheerful mood last night at the jazz club after we had an argument about my failure to keep enough food in the refrigerator.
I just have to face this. There's no other way. I do get defensive when I'm yelled at. Perhaps I need a different approach.
With the grocery shopping, she want me to empathize that she didn't have enough food as a child. She's going to take the shopping over for now, so she can buy what and how much she wants. With the separation agreement, she wanted me to hold her and tell her that if there is a next time, I will not touch her money.
I'll try to solve the problems that I can. I spoke with my supervisor about cutting my evening hours, so that I can be home earlier. I would be happy to cook a meal for us every now and then. I can try to be less reactive when confronted by her.
I'm not going to be able to say yes to every request.
I'll have to accept that there is no security in marriage, and that I need to face things, instead of looking for security. There must be courage, in the face of uncertainty. I can try my best, and accept that she can still choose to divorce or respond in her manner.
CL
CL 53 W 54 M 20 yrs. 03'-09' Separation + Old Patterns + GAL 10-14' Piecing
"The Master allows things to happen. She shapes events as they come."
