BobbiJo is correct as you've been able to do some wonderful things. Now keep going and you'll continue to grow. Lean on us here and keep journaling, venting, and asking. We'll make sure to at least get you to look before you leap.
One of the things I've found helpful - unfortunately by first not adhering to what I'm going to tell you - is to wait and be patient before you fire off what first hits your gut.
Let me explain. I've been too guilty over the past almost-year of going through the D w/my XW of replying IMMEDIATELY to her any time she's contacted me - both good and bad.
At times, I'd post questions here for insight and input and if I didn't get "community help" quickly enough, I'd fire off something to XW out of some inner "need" to see if she'd respond right back or something.
Anyway, I'm sure you can guess that this only got me into trouble, so I've learned the hard way to slow way, way down and respond usually the next day. By doing this, I was able to not only see things so much more clearly, but I was able to give all the people here in this wonderful community some real time to think about my sitch and respond. In the end, being patient and not flying to reply to XW has served me very, very well.
On another front, you wrote:
Quote:
My tendency is to be open and straightforward - a friend of mine thinks I'm honest to a fault
I'm like this too and I think DBing is teaching me a valuable life-lesson that I shouldn't be such an open book all the time. It is taken advantage of by some unfortunately. Also in the case of your W, you can reveal NOTHING that doesn't relate exclusively to your S2. PERIOD! Be firm w/this. It is done not only for your protection, but if you are ever going to have a true shot at reconciliation, you've got to do this as well.
Finally, I'd love it if you went back into the classroom if you miss it. We have such poor teachers in our schools and so many of our kids are taught by teachers who lack passion for learning and a true love of their job. If you can be one of those teachers who loves what they do, the difference you can make is unbelieveable. Especially since you are a male and would be able to provide a strong, healthy, confident role model for these kids who quite often are lacking any strong adult influence in their lives.
