i have a bad feeling about your wife...she resembles my wife in the "final" days
I see similarities too thats why I thought you might have said "bail out". I don't see any signs of OM or a new OM but I could be wrong.
I think I've spent this last week watching, observing and reflecting, somthings is not right and probably been that way for a while. I've backed off completely from W to see if what ever it is rears its head but I've not spotted anything yet.
Originally Posted By: John210
but I don't feel you are done trying
probably not. but I'm not sure how long to go on like this.
Originally Posted By: John210
It almost seems that your W is pushing you to make the final decision...I hope I am wrong.
I've just followed you around and seen how you don't pull the punches any more (no more sugar candy).
I guess from what I've seen on these boards and it also to my sitch is that things work themselves out in their own time, be it a D or reconsile. If W is just confused at the moment, then my actions may help to un-confuse her, If she wants a D my actions can only delay that, if she wants to reconsile then I can only make things better.
Lan, I was worried a bit about you. Try to stay positive. People sometimes second guess their choices without necesserarily deciding it is best for them to change their decisions/commitments. The process may look fishy to you after what you have been through, but may not be what you think. xxx K
Ok I called W today and asked her why she was annoyed with me, she said it was because I attempted a "dawn raid" this morning which she quickly repelled, and it woke her out of her sleep. In fact she has told me now that under no circumstance must I touch her in the mornings and wake her out of her sleep. All this from the woman who used to wake me out of my sleep at 5am for sex.
Anyway I said that didn't account for her being annoyed last night, well she said that was due to me coming in late and she didn't know where I was, in fact she reminded me that I had promised to give her a massage before bed time and she had drank a glass of sherry to lossen up and get in the mood. But when I explained that I wasn't extremely late and there was still time could for a massage and she could have reminded me. she said that cos I was late and she was annoyed and she just went off the idea. ( from the look on her face a massage was never on at that point).
I then said to W "look we have a communication problem we should talk about these things". To which she replied there is no way we are sitting down and discussing any of our issues. In fact if I want to discuss anything I can sit in an empty room and discuss them with myself. Make of that what you will (drama and BS in my opinion). But despite what was said the conversation was done in a cordial manner.
Later in the morning my PC was taken away by our IT dept and in my job no PC means no work can be done, so I pulled a half day holiday, phoned W and met her for lunch, we had a light snack and polite conversation all very pleasent.
This sort of up and down used to really confuse me and make me retreat into my cave, but now it just makes me wonder.
Hey Lan...for the record it is making me wonder also. A little pre dawn raid eh? Under no circumstance??? That does not sound very good. Would you ever say something like that? Perhaps...I don't like it in the morning or i am tired please do not disturb me...etc.....maybe i am exagerating...i feel for you Lan. This has to be very difficult to take. It is good that you are not retreating to your cave.
If I was reading all of this on somone elses sitch I would say that there was someone, something or some outside influences at play. I'm not sure how or if I need to force the issue, but for now all I can do is to watch and observe (plus get out and do some stuff for myself).
Wow, a year really has gone very quickly. W is out on her Christmas night out with work collegues, this time last year she was the new girl in town and in trying to make an impression she only succeeded in getting hammered and making an a$$ of herself. Tonight she's promised to be as good gold as she has to go to her second job in the morning.
Funny thing, yesterday morning, W said she was feeling around for me in bed and relised I wasn't there and she wanted to know why I was getting up out of bed before the alarm went off. (Hmmm.... could it be something to do with you not wanting me to touch you in the mornings, lol).
Tomorrow W is working, D7 is at a pantomime, so I have most of the day to myself for a bit of xmas shopping, a bit of gym work and then relax.
