My positive thoughts and prayers are with you Cat. I believe that being a great mom and being 100% supportive and available for your children when they are with you will help them through this transition.
You might want to stop at a library, or book store, and spend some time looking through books about helping children deal with divorce. You may find some additional ideas.
Don't envy your H's life. Keep in mind, he has to deal with someone else's kids who probably won't be so thrilled about living with him, and may have their own dad somewhere in the picture making things difficult. The whole thing is ugly and you just need to stay sane, try to keep your own life drama-free, and be supportive for your children (which I know you'll do because you are a great mom!!!).
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
