Thank you so, so much!!! It is so nice to hear from someone who is in a similiar relationship spanning over so many years. I think you are very right about what my W is going through. As I said she's moving back in next month, but she says she's not happy about it, that she just got to get her own place and her own bank account, etc, and she doesn't want to give that up. It's so hurtful--I've given her as much of my life as she's given me, and now I just feel like she wants to throw me out like old garbage. As time progresses I'm beginning to believe that this is less about the EA than it is about her wanting to just be on her own for the 1st time in life--how do I combat that? Do you think she needs to be afraid of losing me? I think you're right, these long term relationships are very hard to walk away from, which is why she's gone back and forth so much between getting a D or just staying separated. The other part of this is that we started off as best friends and then moved into a relationship, so she keeps saying that she still wants me to be a very good friend, but that she sees no future for us as a couple. In some ways, it seems that the length of relationship works for and against us...
