Hey Rob! Hi Mrs M! So yes, you are spot on !!! I am an empathic Piscean, I do tend to 'attract' certain people like you say. I have had a year of C and we did get into this with her, patterns, absolutely. And I recognise its not healthy for me! My ex though was very caring and nurturing and was a good partner, he didnt take his chit out on me, as they say, or 'act out'... until he left me !!! It is glaringly obvious that he has huge emotional issues. The EA guy claimed to not have any! He was a pretty confident kind of guy, just a bit arrogant!
But all 3 guys I have lived with all had either emotionally absent or actual absent fathers. And they were left with deep scars. They also all had domineering, critical mothers who werent able to give them unconditional love. I see this now (with C). Interesting. And yes, I grew up in a family where I was the peace maker, there was ALOT of anger between my parents and then with them and my sister... and I was the one they all came to for soothing comfort, to confide in me...I was the 'healer' for them. So..enough of all of that!
And the red flag thing is very important. I just hope I spot it! I feel proud of myself for spotting it in BMF, because the old me wouldnt have. I feel like I have grown up so much this past year, I feel like I am a better person for it and strangely I am really grateful to my ex for that! You too hey Rob??
I do wish we could stay/be friends though, he is a great guy (despite how he acted this year!) and we have many mutual friends. I miss talking to him, which is what he said to me lately. My BFF said.. well he's lost his best mate too hasnt he, like you have. Doesnt mean he wants me back, but yes, maybe he realises now the value of the friendship he has lost? Like Mishka said (thanks Mish!) .. I do genuinely love and care about him and really listen to him, like noone else in his life.
