Good Morning, thanks for coming by. I think I will try to cut back on posting... Dont have much to post anyway.
None of my conditions have been met yet. He has some time, I am going to give him some time. Dont ask me why. I could never live with myself if I had regrets. Maybe I am just a chicken chit and cant take the responsibility. Whatever...
John and Sandy, I know what you are saying. You can always be frank with me. I hear you. I trust your intentions are always good. There are just some things that cant be expressed here. Some good, some not so much.
I am staying low. We will probably go to the MC tomorrow. See where that leads us. I havent figured out if I am going away with him. I realised I am trying to figure out if we have a chance, keeping myself unavailable to him because if I manage to let him in, I would have to settle.
Damn it!! It's the same question again and again. Do I settle? Do I base my future on wishes? Do I quit on the dream of being loved the way that would make me happy? Does he have these qualities to love me the way I need? Can I forget and fall for him again? Do I want too much? Is my romantic side awake now and messes with my ability to make rational choices? Am I fooling myself about how things should be? Will I ever be his again? Cant answer any of these questions. All I know now is I feel I will never be same. K
Last night I had a miserable night. I got tired fighting myself...
