I don't really know what to say to be honest with you, but hang in there. In the very beginning, when my wife told me that she wanted to divorce me, I was in so much pain. I couldn't concentrate on the job, I was always crying, couldn't sleep, etc. I hated the weekends because at least Monday through Friday I could be somewhat distracted with work. I remember getting in my car and just driving for hours around town, crying and wishing that the pain would go away. These first few months are going to be tough - but you will get through this.
Remember, time is on your side. Ultimately, all of us are looking to love and be loved. Your wife at the moment for whatever reason is at a place where she doesn't feel or trust that she can have that with you. Your goal here has to be to maximize every opportunity you have with her to show her that you have her best interest at heart - that you really want her to be happy - even if that means happiness without you. Again, this is going to take time, especially since you don't have a lot of interactions with your wife at the moment. That is all the reason why to really make whatever moments you have with your wife a positive one.
In many ways, getting back with our wives is sort of like being single again and trying to get women to notice you. The key here is that you have to be attractive. And by attractive, you have to demonstrate and truly have the qualities that you know your wife wants in a man. Little things matter here (is your car clean, are you taking better care of yourself/working out, more upbeat and confident, etc). Also, this is a great opportunity to work on your character. What other qualities must you have to be the type of man that your wife (and any other good woman) would want? I also think that it is great that your relationship with your kids has gotten better. Keep up the good work there.
I would continue to read up on this forum and to learn as much as you can. In the end, this process is going to be about two things I think.
#1 - learning to love your wife unconditionally, even if that means you never get her back
#2 - learning to work on yourself (ultimatley, this DB thing is about saving ourselves in hope that we save our marriage)
I am still learning and if you've read any of my posts lately, I too get pretty down at times. That said, you never know what time, determination, and prayer can do. I wish you the best of luck here and keep the posts going. Remember - there is always hope
Last edited by lovenomatterwhat; 12/17/0805:05 AM.
