HELP! I have never been more lost!

[built4speed]

Don't get all wrapped around one night. In the long run it's meaningless. The day-to-day stuff tells you nothing. The long run is what you are after.

And obviously you need to stop the snooping.

Your answer is contained right in your post:

"I basically stayed away from her and gave her space. Then the calls increased, the more I withdrew, the more she advanced. If she tried to kiss me, I would not kiss her back, or hugging her or anything. Finally she told me that she missed me and that she LOVED the way she felt right now. "

That is from your post. You were DBing and didn't even realize it.

It's hard to tell, but you are different with her in your "normal" interactions and there is something about you which pushes her away. When you back away you are more interesting to her. That is the lever you can use to improve your interaction. It is classic DBing. When you are totally available to her, your "stock" is not worth as much as when it is rarer. Simple supply-demand. Too much you, price goes down. Less you, price goes up. Perhaps you are being a bit smothering? Either way, you need to work on your stuff and not spend so much time in her stuff. That is also classic DBing.

So, GAL. Get more friends. Spend more time with the kids, etc. You HAVE to quit focussing on everything she is doing and get your life in order. Don't worry, she'll notice. As you become a better human being, you are more interesting to be around. That will attract and interest her.

Get a long term plan and work toward it. Have you created your DB goals? What do you want to improve in your life?

Consider some counseling. I did during my divorce and am still going after 3 years. Progress is slow, but steady.

Good luck!