gots to change the oil today on one of my fleet of cars (got too many so I am lending/slash donating one to a friend and fellow 'stander' for his M)
Before I do that though I have to remedy the stripped drain plug issue that I created for myself last time I did this 'routine' task. Just goes to show you that nothing is really routine. Or ..not for me anywayze.
{{{Tomato}}} I just have to say that I wish my husband would have or someday would (I don't know which to say) call me the sweet and wonderful names you call your wife..I just love that you say those things no matter how she is acting, no matter what has gone on..I just think that's awesome
Tawnya
Me:39 H:40 D18/S12 M20/T21 Bomb 10/11/08 One Two Three Four
I have been better about communication it to her over the last few months. For a half second as I typed that last one I started to tear up.
I need too love my Lord the same way. That is the objective. I great man shrared that with me nearly a year ago in a real nice ..men of Christ tete a tete I had with this guy who I had never met b4 that.
She has founds my semi-hidden collection of poems written as an outpouring of my love for her. I know it had to have moved her heart plenty to stumble upon them.
Not much said about it though. In time ..I am sure.
I posted to BBJ and am praying for you today and her. Special ones for you both.
Blessings
M:47 M:18 D16, S19 1st S 1/08-5/08 Reconciled/May 7, 2008 Left again Nov 9, 2009 I Filed: Nov 17, 2009 Final: April 14, 2010 EX walked away from kids too
Not gonna post much since I have the oportunity to get early to bed and I need to. Just finished flying in the slop that is out there in the PA skies. Semi-stressful. As was a fair chunk of the early part of the day.
Called darling around noon and thought there might be an outside shot I would be able to talk to her on her lunch. No answer. So my VM just stated that I was callin cuz I wanted to see how she was and also to get a Christmas list from her. This is sorta a small 180 cuz over last 2 Xmas' I just went the creative route and picked out stuff for her on my own. Those last two holidays were complete and utter disaster that have really crept in and started to taint this time of year. I will hope and pray that this one will be just the opposite and will not contain stress and tension but might contain a bunch of quiet and reflective time spent together as the one-flesh body that we are.
So back to the calls ...She responded w/ a return call late afternoon and informed me that she was rather busy with multiple Dr's appts and had taken the day. She had to have an ultrasound done at the OB-Gyn as she has cysts that i guess will need to be treated. So I wished her well with that. Then I kinda had to coax her to respond to the Xmas list question. And I got the response that I figured .."I don't need you to get me anything ..don't need anything really". So I probed a little and asked her if she had a reason why she did not want me to get her anything. WOuld she be uncomfortable with receiving something from me and if so, why? It was at this point that she got real evasive and was trying to rush off the call. I converted the near R talk into an R talk simply cuz I can't live as I have been ..left to constantly wonder how she perceives where things are going between her & I. Since she had said that the reason why she didn't feel right with me buying her a gift was cuz of "our present situation". So i used that as an invite to ask her what her view was on our present sitch. So my voice got raise as I got aggravated that she was doing the usual dance and she opted to do her usual and said "I need to go , this is getting to be too much ..click"
Oh the only other semi-important thing I left out was that once I learned she had zero interest in receiving a gift of any sort. I told her that this uncomfortableness that she was exhibiting about me seemed to almost point towards her wanting to have me suspend contacting her. I asked her if that was the case and she said that it might not be a bad thing given our present sitch. So I think I said "well ..ok if you want to go on with your life and have other people in it then because I truly love and respect you, I will cease calling you if that is your desire. ANd shortly after that ..the hang-up.
Then as has been the circus stunt in the past ..so too it was again today. She called me not 2 hours later cuz she claimed to have a funny story to share with me from her Dr's appt. It involved fallopian tubes and ovaries and va-jay-jays and the like. Then after I informed her that I stood a chance of being cancelled on my flight due to the weather, she said "I would come over to your place and show you my canker sore from all my stress, but you know me and my vanity so I will just send you pics of it or something"
Is this romantic or what? Do I get any of this or what? Does it have any meaning or what?
{{{Tomato}}} It definitely sounds like a mixed bag of signals my friend..I'm glad you are a praying person cause you definitely need it to handle your day!
Just looked at the weather channel and saw the mess that was over PA today..glad you are OKAY..
Tawnya
Me:39 H:40 D18/S12 M20/T21 Bomb 10/11/08 One Two Three Four
I'm sorry for your confusion. It sounds like you are still forcing things on her though, meaning the R talks. I get the impression that she isn't thinking too far ahead, and that she just wants to live day by day, not worrying whether or not you guys will be together or not. unlike you. you want to know, and you have great reason to. The only problem is, you can't control her, and if she's not ready, then she's not ready. and pushing it faster will only push her away. so, are you not going to call her now for awhile again? since she did indirectly say not to call, then you should probably step back again.
I'm sorry your rollercoaster is so gosh darn long. I know your tired. Just lean on God and let him help you.
(((T)))
Me 33 H 34 S9 S3 M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs) EA/PA 1/2006 DB 5/2006 H wants D 6/2006 H wants ME 8/2006 H "said" PA/EA over 8/2006 H erased OW off phone! 2/2007
"It is far better 2 choose humility & change oneself, than 2 wait in vain trying 2 chang someone else."
