Not gonna post much since I have the oportunity to get early to bed and I need to. Just finished flying in the slop that is out there in the PA skies. Semi-stressful. As was a fair chunk of the early part of the day.
Called darling around noon and thought there might be an outside shot I would be able to talk to her on her lunch. No answer. So my VM just stated that I was callin cuz I wanted to see how she was and also to get a Christmas list from her. This is sorta a small 180 cuz over last 2 Xmas' I just went the creative route and picked out stuff for her on my own. Those last two holidays were complete and utter disaster that have really crept in and started to taint this time of year. I will hope and pray that this one will be just the opposite and will not contain stress and tension but might contain a bunch of quiet and reflective time spent together as the one-flesh body that we are.
So back to the calls ...She responded w/ a return call late afternoon and informed me that she was rather busy with multiple Dr's appts and had taken the day. She had to have an ultrasound done at the OB-Gyn as she has cysts that i guess will need to be treated. So I wished her well with that. Then I kinda had to coax her to respond to the Xmas list question. And I got the response that I figured .."I don't need you to get me anything ..don't need anything really". So I probed a little and asked her if she had a reason why she did not want me to get her anything. WOuld she be uncomfortable with receiving something from me and if so, why? It was at this point that she got real evasive and was trying to rush off the call. I converted the near R talk into an R talk simply cuz I can't live as I have been ..left to constantly wonder how she perceives where things are going between her & I. Since she had said that the reason why she didn't feel right with me buying her a gift was cuz of "our present situation". So i used that as an invite to ask her what her view was on our present sitch. So my voice got raise as I got aggravated that she was doing the usual dance and she opted to do her usual and said "I need to go , this is getting to be too much ..click"
Oh the only other semi-important thing I left out was that once I learned she had zero interest in receiving a gift of any sort. I told her that this uncomfortableness that she was exhibiting about me seemed to almost point towards her wanting to have me suspend contacting her. I asked her if that was the case and she said that it might not be a bad thing given our present sitch. So I think I said "well ..ok if you want to go on with your life and have other people in it then because I truly love and respect you, I will cease calling you if that is your desire. ANd shortly after that ..the hang-up.
Then as has been the circus stunt in the past ..so too it was again today. She called me not 2 hours later cuz she claimed to have a funny story to share with me from her Dr's appt. It involved fallopian tubes and ovaries and va-jay-jays and the like. Then after I informed her that I stood a chance of being cancelled on my flight due to the weather, she said "I would come over to your place and show you my canker sore from all my stress, but you know me and my vanity so I will just send you pics of it or something"
Is this romantic or what? Do I get any of this or what? Does it have any meaning or what?
