I'm so happy to see how you are progressing. Try and look at this as a journey that you've got to conquer one step at a time. It is very long, so be patient, but also find a way EVERY day to fight the good fight for Carlos and his boys. Maybe put something on the mirror for you to study every morning as a reminder.
Also, Nut is 100% correct. You can write and write and write, but send NOTHING! Don't even write notes to yourself in the margins of a book. Not only can they come back against you in a custody hearing, they WILL! I'm living proof.
My words of openness, honesty, and accountability were thrown back at me and used against me. In the end, what did I get for being honest, upfront, open and taking responsiblity for my part in everything? Screwed sideways w/a lunchbox. It wasn't pretty.
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My wife is a beautiful person in so many ways - and I know that I will continue to love her no matter what happens - I just know that because she won't examine herself and the affects of her FOO on her that we just don't have much of a chance.
We married very similar, yet flawed women, my brother. This is my XW and my feelings as well. All people have flaws, but unless they are willing to face them, own them, and fix them, they will always be more than flaws...they will be the chains that hold them back from truly being happy, healthy, and free.
I'm not sure if either of our sitches will see the ladies we know ever find the strength or courage to break their chains. However, you said it best when worrying about W being w/her abusive dad for so long - "It isn't my problem."
As painful as it is, letting go of what we can't control and concentrating on what we can control is the only way to truly save ourselves.
