Thanks for the warm welcome back and holiday wishes. I think about you two a lot and am always sending good thoughts your way.
Cagz, I totally understand your reasons on not jumping on the invitation. For me, well, I guess I have always had a fear of being too cynical or cautious with my xh... you see, I would love to know that he both trusts and forgives me- and I have always thought that I have no right to want those things if I can't give them in return. NOW, let me say that it has not always been the healthiest choice to blindly trust or forgive. But, I know that I once screwed up, and I also know that I am not the same person I once was. So, again, I have to believe that it is possible with other folks.
My first thought when I read your reason was "odd that he wants Cagz as a best friend...." I mean, to alleviate guilt- yeah, I understand that to some point. But, I firmly believe that your significant other has to be your best friend if you want your relationship to work---so...what does this say about his chances for a meaningful relationship with someone else? I mean, if you are the best friend, well, where does that leave another woman?
I do understand that you do not want to get burned. And, I am so happy that no one jumped on here and said, "Oh, it sounds like he wants you back!" (People do that all the time and it makes me crazy!) I would have to guess that none of us, not even you, Cagz, know his true motives for wanting to go on that car trip. And, if you felt that saying yes was not healthy for you, I think that you did the right thing. However, I would not rule out any future invitations...
Go to Frank's thread and read the long post by 25yearsMLC (I think that is the right name). It is a huge post- I think you will get a lot out of it. I am not saying that in the manner to win your H back... believe me, in this time off the BB I have seen that my efforts to do that set me back quite far! Sometimes posts like that one really make me think, and I believe it will do the same for you.
I am sorry that you are so sad right now. I know it is such a tough time. My thoughts and prayers are with you (and TP, too).
Just keep doing what you think is right. Only time will heal all of this, one way or another. I don't think I ever really appreciated time the way I now do--- I was in such a rush to "fix" things that I was going through motions at times when I really needed to reflect on things.
I hope you do get to a point that you can take a car trip with your X. But, only if you can do it with no expectations. Just as a way to enjoy him, as a friend. There is nothing that says you need to be there yet. He really hurt you. But, don't rule it out, that's all.
