WAWs have a very warped sense of entitlement and THAT is what makes them ABLE to walk away - because they often think (selfishly and wrongly) they've put so much into everyone else that it's now time for them. Well the reality is this: THE JOB WASN'T DONE. She didn't have a right to pack her sh*t and walk out on two children, let alone you, but let's leave you out of the equation for now.
It is great that you stepped up and have been a good father to your boys but have you really given ANY consideration to what she has taught those boys BY LEAVING THEM?
Have you given any consideration to what she is showing them ABOUT YOU by just walking the hell back in?
This I totally agree with, but I don't think it is my place to make her see things as you say and I don't think I can. I think that is God's job and only He can do it. Just as He would have to be the one to teach me to forgive her.
I agree that for the most part it's God that is going to have to reveal to her the magnitude of all that she has done.
However that being said, cushioning a WAW from the consequences of her actions here in this world is only enabling her to do as she pleases again. And again. And again.
This woman needs to talk to you.
It is not right for you to martyr yourself by saying she doesn't "owe" you anything and just rolling over and letting her come and go as she pleases.
What do you think that is going to accomplish?
That's the fastest route to becoming a doormat.
She most certainly does owe you.
And in the interest of self-respect, as well as earning HER respect, you should ask her the questions that you need, and deserve, answers to.
I'm not talking about raising the roof. I am talking about you having a conversation with your wife.
She owes that to you.
And she owes you an insight as to just what she thinks she is doing now.
To let her skate on that would create a breeding ground for resentment on both your parts.
