Hi - Yes you are right about expectations and disappointments. It is amazing a difference a day makes.

I went to Hospital not for show or anything but because he is someone i loved for 30 years and he is the father of my children. He probably did say thanks but i was not listening or was waiting for him to do something that I could get p*&^%$ about. Stupid really.

I am not afraid of going and getting stuff done around house etc , it is just that I have always known H to do things properly and right and I think he is an expert, so I ask him questions or expect him to fix stuff. I tend do be less worried about details and rush things.

I will treat H well but for now it is because I still care. Maybe even when you dont care, you still really care if that makes sense.

i think H feels he is missing nothing and maybe he isn't. If there is another woman, what is there to miss. ( Although I think I am more intelligent, good looking, no bad habits and H knows now that from me he has truth and that I will not lie ) Trust would be a big thing for him, but who can he trust. I know he believes everything the OW has told him so far about her life , but I think we all know that , that is most likely not true. I dont like to spit poison about someone I dont know BUT if a woman wants something she will say whatever she thinks a man wants to hear.

i think I have taken a little control back in my life. It has been a year since i felt this free. I have made contact for kayak lessons ( in a pool ) and I have made contact with kayak club ( if I like it ). It sounds like they have good membership and do some fun things. We will see next year how that pans out.

i always pinned my old age with doing stuff with H. Even if it was stuff like fishing or sailing. i just thought that is what we would do. I never ever thought - " What would I like to do " I know I would of happily trotted behind H and probably enjoyed ( a bit ) of what he was doing BUT it is different when you stop and think but what would I like to do.

I still not sure but at least I am now able to think and give stuff a try.

Well off to work - groan - pretty sure work was not in my long term plan. Well s*&^ happens ha ha