I have to echo what Techguy said: separation. I am not as far along with my H as Techguy is with his wife but just yesterday my H sent me a long email telling me our problems are not all my fault. He said, "now that I have to face myself each day, with no one else around to blame..."
I have known in my gut that the only way he would see this was to leave me. Does not mean he will come back but it is a step in the right direction.
As for you, maybe Techguy is on to something, is it possible for you and W to separate locally? You could set a trial period perhaps?
