Do Something DIFFERENT

[Cinderellaman]

I have some questions.... if I may.

I don't understand 'do something different' theory. Are we supposed to do this for ourselves? Or are we supposed to do this to try to save our marriages? It's the same with Divorce Busting..the words indicate that it's possible to 'bust' the divorce...and Divorce Remedy indicates that there is a 'remedy'.

I have been a member of this community for 2 full years now and have found incredible love and support from many posters.

Yet, I still don't understand the theories completely...and I keep wondering how they actually apply to SAVING a marriage.

I have a PMA and I have more than GAL in all this time. My H has seen the changes, and am sure is happy with who I have become, but has it changed his mind?....has it brought him closer?...does this mean that our divorce will be busted?...

NO.

I don't think so...so I feel a bit silly...having read all I could and done all I could..yet still living alone with my kids whilst my H is living with his younger ow.

I know the book says that not all cases are restored, but I'm starting to get the feeling that only SOME cases make a chance to get restored. It makes me sad, to have come here so hopeful and thrilled for having found a possible healthy way to heal our marriage. Yet I have not only been disappointed in my marriage, but also in myself for having believed that there may have been a solution to be found here...

I don't mean to be critical, as I have found great warmth here amongst many friends...but I do long for more clarity about WHY we do all this...(from the books point of view, taking the title into account..) do we do it for US, or do we do things to save our marriage ?

And if it is that latter, then why is it, that in so many cases here it does not work ?? Is this because of MLC, something that isn't even truly accepted as an actual state of being?

I hope I haven't offended anyone, and that some things may become clearer for me from here...

Thanks xx