I screwed up again

[AnotherNightmare]

Just doing some journaling today:

I have had a busy couple of days. On Sunday afternoon I went to a cub scout meeting with my S8. Lots of holiday singing, for which I am not really in the mood, but it does not bother me as much as it did 2 or 3 weeks ago. So I really feel a lot more grounded and I can laugh again. Sunday night, I watched the season finale of Survivor. Another great season is behind us, that is really the only thing that makes me sad.

On Monday morning, I traveled back to my project. One of my friends, who is also on this project, but usually at a different location, is here with me this week for the first time after the bomb. So we chatted, and while I was telling him some of the details, it became clear to me (just by talking about it, not by anything he said) how ridiculous W's plans are. The way I interpret her plans right now is, yes, she wants a family, but she wants to replace the husband and father in this picture, because he is the root cause for her unhappiness. Is that considered MLC?
It also tells me that she does not accept any of the responsibility for what happened, while I have been putting a lot of the blame on myself. I did not listen, I hurt her feelings, I made her feel like I did not care. All this I understand and accept as my fault, but it is only 100% of 50% of the total blame to be distributed.
Can anyone chime in and tell me when this typically changes with a WAW? I do not mean after so many weeks or months, but rather what are the steps WAS need to take before they realize that all this was caused by their own doing as well?

I have been thinking a lot about the conversation with W on Saturday night. I told her we would get a new passport for our D5 after Xmas, but right now I am not sure I still want to do it. There is still a huge trust issue. I even thought to myself she might go to Retrouvaille with me with no intention to work on our M, but to work on me, to soften me, so she can finally get the D her way. Is this crazy?
She keeps saying things like asking me to be reasonable, she even offered to make the D cheaper if I agreed with her on the custody issue. I know I am supposed to ignore anything she says, but it is hard for me to believe that this is not her current mindset. And it makes it even harder to trust her with anything. I guess I will have to observe and come to a decision that I feel comfortable with.

AN