I dont find your judgemental, overcritical posts helpful and you make many presumptions, so...
I had love at first sight when young, naturally it was exciting and I couldnt wait to leave home to live with him. It was amazing and I dont regret a second of it! The second time it happened, I moved in within 2 days, mainly because I was between flats at the time, but I ended up staying 2 1/2 years and I do regret that.
The third time, was my ex...we didnt get together for 3 years but were best of friends. When we did get together, I DIDNT let him move in with me for over a year. I guess we did date, but it didnt feel that way, as I knew him so well already before we began our R. The R progressed slowly, normally, maturely, I encouraged him to see his friends, have his own place. I kept up all my hobbies/friends. Eventually we did move in, again after much mature discussion and no, we didnt dive in in any dramatic fashion.
The fourth time was the EA... I didnt leave my ex for him, mature at last hey.
Two were NOT my soulmates. It was a lightning bolt when we met, but once I got to know them, I couldnt spend a lifetime with them and I dont miss them. The first love, I still love and miss him now and I told him a part of me would love him to the day I die, and that is still true. Same goes for my current ex.
When I say I dont intend to date.. I mean, blind, speed, internet or otherwise. If I had a chemistry, eyes lock across a crowded room etc, I would get to know them. Cautiously after what I have been through.
And no, I have had very little drama in my life and I dont like it. I am known as a quiet homebody by friends/family and I never argued with my ex in 9 years. No drama there. You said it took you 4 years to get over your exH...so excuse me for "suffering terrible turmoil and grief" this past year, as I am sure you did. Its like a bereavement and I am entitled to cycle over events, revisit, make sense of the meaningless, feel guilt, loss etc.. all normal for a grieving process and not something to be ashamed about?
