Well, he cancelled on me. He called while I was in the shower. He left a voicemail saying:
"Hey ____ [my pet name]. Just calling to tell you it's best we should probably reschedule. I called Comcast and they said they were supposed to be here between 8:00 and 1:00 not 8:00 and 12:00 like they told me yesterday. And they also said the guy is running late. Knowing them, they won't be here until 4:00 or 5:00. It's no hurry, though. We can reschedule whenever is convenient for you - later this week or next week or whenever. I'm gonna send you a text as well to make sure you get this. If you could give me a call back whenever you get a chance, I'd really appreciate it. I also wanted to say that I really appreciate you being so understanding and going out on a limb for me. I know things are crazy for us now, and I'm sorry that we have to go through all of this. Ok, well give me a call when you can. Take care. Bye ___ [pet name]."
Then he texted me: ---"Just left a voicemail. Unable to do today. Comcast is runnin late. Not in a hurry, we can do this whenever you're able to. The bill should come here. We'll handle it later. Thanks for being understanding. Call me when you can. Thanks ___ [my pet name]."
Then he called me fifteen minutes later.
And he called another 15 minutes later.
And then, 20 minutes later he called again, while I was on the phone with a friend. After several rings, I clicked over.
When I finally picked up, I explained that I'd gotten his message but was on a conference call. I told him it was no big deal but that I would probably need to reschedule for sometime in January - until then, I would just pay the bill online or transfer the money to his bank account. He said it was no problem, said he wasn't worried about any of that. He said he was really sorry for putting me through all of this, and that he wanted me to know that he really appreciates how understanding I'm being. He said he just wanted me to know that he feels really horribleabout everything. I told him I understand how he would feel that way and that it will be ok. He said he doesn't want me to think he doesn't care about me. He said he still cares about me alot and he really still wants "us to always be friends". He said he's sorry for putting "us" through all of this mess and that he's sorry that we have to deal with all of this financial stuff. I said, "I hear you, and I know you have to do what you have to do for yourself." I kept my tone very light. He sounded very down the entire conversation, and if I didn't know better, I would have thought he was on the verge of tears. He beat me to the f***ing punch by saying he didn't want to bother me any longer, that he knews I was busy. I told him to take care, and we got off the phone. Duration: 4 minutes, 25 seconds.
So, I'm taking it with a grain of salt. I will not allow myself to read into the conversation, nor will I allow myself feel upset about today. I've decided that I'm going to order some movies and some pizza and just have fun with my day.
God is great, and He works in mysterious ways. I am happy to be alive and have a little fun time with myself.
