Sorry for the spacing in my posts. Yes, I thought about it and I see where I am still emotionally inflicted by this situation. I have re-read some of my posts. In all reality, your words about making pretend she is on a long trip is what I have been doing for some time now. I try to move forward best I can , every day. I have found renewed strength in my positon and situation, but it still hurts. I move through my life, much as it is, without thinking of her at all. It is difficult being the single parent, bill payer and family cheerleader, lol. It is very tiring, the hours are long and the pay is terrible.
Everyone aroun dme is very busy with the holidays and whatnot so I have no place to go or to talk to most nigths. I am usually home alone, doing something, but alone. I am busy, I do think and get my mind straight, like last night. I needed to just sit and slow down and think about this situation. I am doing as He asks, without question. I trust in what I am doing, but I am scared. I will continue with my detaching and GAL and all the rest. I know what I know and I know what I feel. I think when I was feeling my anger, detaching and not thinking of her at any level was much easier. Now that that battle is over, I am on a new front. I am worried about me now. I seem to be getting lethargic. I seem less motivated. Xmas blues I suppose. Pushing myself to go Xmas shopping tonite. that always gets me in the mood and makes me happy.
