QUESTION: Am I correct in holding to my STRONG convictions of wanting D8 to make Sunday school every week? XW keeps telling me that getting both herself and D8 to church weekly is VERY important, but I don't see this in XW's actions so much. Similarly, am I correct in holding to my STRONG convictions of NOT wanting my D8 'hanging out' with Brit(13)?
You cant make your daughter go to church on "your XW's time". It's good for you to want her to go (if it's a good church), but you cant force it.
When your XW says "its important for her to go", what she may mean is, "I know that it's important for YOU, for her to go". In contrast, her actions clearly show what SHE considers important, and what is not important. you cant do much about that.
on the "hanging out alone with the 13-year-old slut", you are DEFINITELY RIGHT. Trouble is, your XW is most likely encouraging that relationship for two reasons: 1. to hurt you 2. to make her daughter as slutty as she herself is. Because if she has company in her "dating" habits (or at least, get her daughter to mirror her attitudes about it), then she can think of what she is doing, as not so wrong. It's rather sick that she would corrupt her 8 year old to do this, but it seems possible that is what is going on.
So, fighting your XW head-on about it, is probably not going to get anywhere, because in her her head, it's probably all about her, not your daughter. Her fighting over your daughter, is "winning against you", and so on.
So, you need to think carefully about your approach to this nasty issue.
Best approach may be to find your D8 some friends her own age who she prefers hanging out with.
Encourage interests she has, that are on "8 year old" level, that would be unappealing to 13 year olds.
