I haven't been posting much...I have been busy and trying not to spend more time than I have to dwelling on what my H does. Staying busy does helps me. If I spend too much time trying to figure out my H, it leads to my frustration and ultimately R talks with my H.
Since my last post, I came very close to telling my H I am done. Last week, my H was extremely avoidant of dealing with anything and still coming up with lots of excuses for everything...including trying to get out of C at the last minute. He did end up showing up at C in the last few minutes of the session after the C and I had spent the whole session talking about how my H has really made very little progress lately. The C let my H know that if he hadn't shown, that I was more than likely done. Since then, things seem a little different...since my H and I have seen each other everyday but one and that day we did talk. There has been no R talk except at C.
We had C again last night. My H made a lot of admissions last night...that I have changed, that he has used work to keep me a distance, that we need to start making some progress and that my request for some kind of daily contact was not unreasonable. He even agreed the C that we should try to spend one or two nights per week together. After C we went to dinner and where my H said we need to move forward or move on. Later he came back home with me and he did spend the night which was really nice but, of course, he had many complaints...he doesn't know where the lights switches are in my house...the house is too cold...he didn't sleep well...blah, blah, blah. I know my H is trying but it is still a little frustrating when he is constantly looking for the less than positive or any reason he can come up with why he is better off not being with me.
When my H left, he told me he would call me later today. So I am grateful for this progress but still trying to keep my expectations loooow!
