When do the tears go away ?

[whitneypinch]

Well,
It's a year now and the divorce is final in a week.
I have done most of the DB things, GAL, 180's, and yes, I have backslid.
I have become the most incredible father to my 2 kids. I was not so involved when I was with my W. W has noticed the changes. I went to therapy for 7 months to work on me. I have read every relationship book I can get my hands on. I have trekked to the base of Mt. Everest, bought a Ducati motorcycle and am in the process of putting together a very large environmental campaign geared to kids (giving back).
My W and I have new houses. We share the kids and all is as good as it can be. There lies the problem.
My W and I get along well, but only see each other once a month. I have stop pursuing and only respond to her emails about the kids.
I sat with my W yesterday at a Christmas concert for my daughter.
My MIL and FIN have contacted me recently to say how great of a father I am and my MIL commented how great of a nurturing mother I have also become to my kids. The see how many great experiences I do with my kids.
So..........after all of this. I miss my family more than I can put into words. I know I should be grateful that my situation is as good as it can be but.........I miss them all.
I don't want this life, I want it all, like everyone else.

My W is texting me right now about a funny story about our kids.
I screwed up some stuff when we were married and did everything humanly possible to fix it all and I did.
My W has not said a word about anything since she left other than she fell out of love. She has been "dating" but that is all I know. From what I hear it's not so easy for her to date as she has 2 kids.
Just hurting this morning. I tend to hurt more when I am in contact with W as it's so nice and there is no tension. I just keep asking myself why are we getting divorced? There is no reason, other than my W does not want to try to fix anything. BTW we never went to counselling or anything. She just got up and left.
She has shown signs of a MLC but I think she is more of the typical WAW.
Miss my kids so much !!