Good morning Maria, Whatever happens during your talk today, I hope it is the first step to getting special K back on track to happiness.
La lontananza sai è come il vento, che fa dimenticare chi non s'ama è già passato un anno ed è un incendio che, mi brucia l'anima. Io che credevo d' essere il più forte. Mi sono illuso di dimenticare, e invece sono qui a ricordare . . . a ricordare te
Thinking of you K, I will have coffee waiting when you wake up...
Wish I had the right words. I am glad you are not 100% giving up yet, I know you have peace knowing you left no stone unturned, as we say over in these parts of the world...
This is kind of personal but have you had affection since H decided he wanted you back? You talked about lying in bed together that one time, but I don't remember...(also I am so tired I cannot think)
Just asking b/c if my H had come back and said he wanted 'in' again, I might have jumped on him by now. Grabbed him and kissed him just to see what would happen.
I am amazed, you are so much better at being patient than I am!
I am sitting here worrying about your mother. She really must go to the doctor today. We nearly lost my father on Sunday, and with just 24 hours in the hospital, and a quick corrective surgery, he has returned to his former self. We tend to think it's OK for old people to decline in front of our eyes, but it isn't true. They decline because something is wrong, and it may be very correctable.
Thanks everybody for your concern. I got worried too. And we did tell her she should go to the doctor. She told me yesterday she got upset with my kids because they refused to do their homework. My mom is a very "tense" woman and she has all sorts of "neurological" issues she is dealing with. All of them out of stress. I will ask her again to go but she is a bit...stuborn.
Thank you.
I hear you all, I am not going to act crazy, dont worry. I hear you FG. I know he is scared. I feel it.
The C told me on the phone we should go anyway to her on Thursday and have a final talk in front of her and get closure. She said she can see how I am so tired of dealing with him and the way he moves. She said she can see love and that is the sad part. She suggested if we cant try anymore, to stay officially and really separated for another 6 months or so during which time we should both go to counceling.
H called, said he will behere in an hour. I will let you know what happened. K
H stayed for an hour. He started the discussion with "tell me what your problem is?". I dont know what to do, it is frustrating, that's all I know.
Anyway, he said he feels it's a matter of timing, he has...patience, I dont. He understands why i dont have patience. When I asked him what can he do, if he can step up his rythm, he said he could. He said he would give me all he got, strength, patience, love, everything I need. But it is my decision if it is enough or not.
He repeated he loves me. He wants us to go away together and see how we will be under relaxed conditions. He wants me to go with him on Friday night at en event of the newspaper (actually the mngt will go out). He said when he mentioned I may go they were all surprised. But he said he told them before I said I am done.
We talked about the future, he sees no way out of his work sitch for the time being. He tried to make me see his point of view and how what I want is not possible (time). Then we talked about his work, news etc.
We didnt decide anything. I didnt say I am going away with him, nor Friday but I think I will. You know, he does love me. In his "quiet" way, he does. I have serious doubts it will be enough. And I wonder if I will find the courage to "lead" him and train him... We'll see. For now, I will just wait. K
Hey Kalni, morning (sort of!). I am glad he came over.. wow, how come? He actually made time in the day to see you!? Must have been between his two jobs I guess, well thats a start hey.
I like that he was so reassuring and that he still wants you to go away with him.. and the work do is interesting. Someone on your thread said he wasnt committed, but if he is willing to take you as his W to a public event, that speaks volumes doesnt it. Who'd have thought, back in the Spring you'd be here now.
I cant help thinking that the universe gave you what you wanted, all year, question is, do you still want it now? (But then the universe can get it wrong, like throwing me BMF!). But, seems that as people keep saying (and the C too).. its just going to take an awful lot longer to find out if this is going to work or not, lots more time??
Glad things are 'moving' though, hugs to you! Al xxxx
PS: About your Mum... Lisa seems to agree (and she should know!) and it did sound like it could possibly be a TIA to me..My FIL had a few of these 1-2 weeks before his last major stroke. I wouldnt leave it.
I understand your Mum is stubborn (FIL was and wouldnt go to the docs).. so how about you call her doctor/your doctor on her behalf and tell them what happened and get them to do a house visit, or call her, if she wont go herself? Sorry to worry you, it might be nothing, but it sounds like what happeend to FIL.
Man, that guy keeps your head spinning. Oops, wait, that happens to you, too.
It's interesting the counselor said she could 'feel the love'. That says something, something that radiates even when the words reflect the frustration.
What do you think of her idea? What is most important to you.. actions, time together?
It individual counseling might help you not to fall into the well of despair when he disappoints you. It's like you're at the worst moments rather than in the now.
He could change jobs, drop one job he's too tired to do anyway? Why is he dancing so fast in one place? What is his fear?
Your choices... now is the time.. not the future, not the past.
