How to know when to let go PT2????

[sandi2]

I always meant what I said and I stuck with it for few days sometimes weeks but when I didn't get the results I was looking for I just fell back into old habit really quickly. I never gave it another thought until I realized what I did and then I would do it all over again.

You are not alone in that category. We have all done that before. It is probably one of the hardest things to do is stick to what you determine in your mind at that time. Then when a few days pass, it gets tough. So, you know what is facing you and I think you are being very realistic about it and that is why I believe you will be able to do this, Kristi. Plus you have your friends here to encourage you. And, BTW, if you venture out to other people's stories and read there posts, you know it is okay for you to say something to them. You know what a lot of women in your shoes are going through and you could probably give them some words of experience. That also will help you to stick to your resolve.

So many times I would hear him say.."yeah I heard that before"..and I would get so frustrated mostly with myself because I knew that I did that. I never did follow through.

Yeah, sounds like me telling my H that I am going on a diet......and he just rolls his eyes b/c he has heard it so many times and I don't follow through. So, let's just make a believer out of ourself.....I am with you! May be different circumstances and yours is more serious in a way than mine is, but my doctor said I either had to lose the weight or face some very serious consequences, so I have got to face my weaknesses and get out of my comfort zone, also, and do what is hard for me to do. It might sound "crazy" to even compare the two challenges, but a challenge is a challenge.....regardless of what area of our life it may be. The important thing is to have each other's support. You have mine......so I hope I will have yours.....okay? I will need you to urge me on and keep telling me that I can beat this thing and I can get better.

This time I have to do this, not just for him, but for me. I need to prove to myself that I can do this.

That is why I think you will do it this time, Kristi. It is for you and you feel that you must do this for you and to prove this to you.....it goes back to all that self respect. I know if I lose all this weight that my self esteem will rise again. I know I will feel better about myself for a hundred different reason. But most of all, I know I must do this if I am going to live.

And it is his loss. Its all of our losses.

Yes it is sweetie. So, like I said, just learn from the past and stop beating yourself up b/c you cannot grow and get better as long as you beat yourself down all the time. Did you realize that? We have to have those little talks to ourselves and give ourselves all that affirmation that we need. May feel silly at first, but it works. You have to believe in yourself before you can improve. Just look at yourself in that mirror and tell yourself how good you are, how strong a person you are, how smart you are, and that you will do this. In fact, just silently (if you are around people...lol) talk to yourself all day and keep telling yourself these things to reinforce your strength.

He is a very intelligent man, I think he understands what I am saying, so to say he needs time to process it, I think is more of his way of saying he needs to see this in action to believe it.

I'm sure he is and I hope I was not offensive when in my statements about the men and their reasons for having to process what we say. I was just trying to give you a laugh (my weird sense of humor...again) b/c I give the guys a hard time.

I am sure he is going to miss you feeding his ego and him not having to put forth any effort to return any emotional support to you. Sounds pretty selfish to me. I know there will be days that the tears will come for you, but just keep making yourself push forward. AmyM is doing it and just the same day that you made your decision to drop the rope and move on.....so did Tawyna. So, that is just three of you right there all in a matter of a short period of time. The three of you can support one another. But there are many, many more here on the board just like you. I hope you will seek them out and you all help one another.

Again, I will be here for you. I may not say all the things you need to hear, but I will be a friend for you to vent to. I do believe in you b/c I think you are much stronger than you give yourself credit for. I think we all are.

I hope you have a good day. Will be thinking about you.

Take care,
Sandi