Trying2Live-Post #6

[Trying2live]

Okay here is the reverse babble stuff I got for you. Its from a person named Orchid(pen name for forum) on Marriagebuilders.com a forum for Surviving An Affair by Willard Harley. I am in Plan B and on the forum under infidelity with the same name Trying2live. Here's the reverse babble stuff.......
WS-Walkaway Spouse
RS: Betrayed Spouse

Examples of reverse babble: by Orchid

WS: I need my own space.

Reverse babble (RB): Yes you do.

WS: I love you but I am not in love with you.

RB: Yes, me too.

WS: You need to move on.

RB: Yes I do. Here is a list of what I need.
1. All bills paid
2. New home, new furniture, etc.
3. New car
4. All Ens met for entire family
5. Children's education all paid for
6. Guaranteed alimony for life
7. Guarantee that you will never be difficult
to deal with.
8. WS meet with Steve/Jennifer or MC and
then show family how WS will keep the
family safe from any harm.
9. WS guarantee he/she will be there to
support family through good times and bad
10. WS never demand anything other than what
the family requests.
11. WS not put demands on family or stress them
out in any way shape or form.

Please share some of the comments you have received and 'we' may be able to give a 'sample' RB response or 2.

Part of reverse babble is to agree, then present something while the WS may be in a state of confusion or wonderment (shocked or confused at your being agreeable). Get in your point and them exit ASAP. Don't say too much. Sometimes I used to nod yes and say no or visa versa. Sounds silly? Well my H was sooo much in the fog, he would just shake his head and walk away. About 2 hours to 2 weeks later I would get a response.

I learned not to take his babble to heart. Eventually I learned to put back some of his responsibility on him.

example:

WS: Go get the D. I don't want to be married to you anymore.

RB: Me too. Go get the D.

WS: Why won't you talk to me? (I was in plan B). Don't you love me?

RB: Hm.... I don't know. Let me get back to you on that.

WS: Where is all the $$ I gave you?

RB: I don't know.

WS: Do you want me to come back?

RB: I don't know.
WS: You are so fat, if you lose weight I will come home.

RB: I do have some weight to lose but when I do, I am not sure if I would still want you to come home.

WS: Be a real human.

RB: I am. I have been wondering about you.

WS: You cant come over to my house without permission.

NOTE: This is not reverse babble this is a challenge. Do NOT respond to this. Just nod.

WS: I cant trust you.

RB: Yes, I can't trust you.

WS: You ruined my life.

RB: Yes, you did ruin our lives.

WS: You ruined your life.

RB: Yes, you did ruin our lives.
NOTE how this is the same response.

WS: Your dad had to get you a job, and you have an mba.

RB: Yes he did and it is a good one. He certainly made a good choice. I'll have to tell him thanks. Thanks for reminding me.

WS:I love you. I dont know why I love you, I just do.

RB: You are right, I don't know why I love you also.

WS: She is just a friend (ow number 2)

RB: Wow, with friends like that, why are you out there making enemies? I did give this answer.

WS: I was plan ning on leaving way before the A...

RB: Why didn't you?

WS: I told you I was leaving you for a year.

RB: Leaving for? or Me or your other W?

WS: I never want to live with you again.

RB: Right now, I can see why you would not want to live with caring people anymore.

WS: We can stay married and live apart.

RB: Ok, right after you can show me how to sleep in 2 beds in 2 different homes at the same time. Similar incident, I gave the above response.

WS: This is for the good of the kids.

RB: You certainly are entitled to your opinion. When the children are older, I will share your words of stupidity with them. It will hurt but you are certainly entitled to your opinion. This one happened to me

WS: Just move on with your life.

RB: I am.

WS: You are crazy.

RB: ...and you have been a good teacher.

WS: I might go to counseling if you start to act normal.

RB: I already have. When is your appointment?

WS: It was never the same with ow as you.

RB: I am glad to hear that.

WS: Where did you get those shoes?

NOTE: This is NOT babble. Just answer his question. Don't act like he said it with sarcasism.

WS: I can never live in our house again, there are too many bad memories.

RB: Good idea. When will you be able to get us another home? This one happened to me
WS: Do you know how easy you made it for me to leave!

RB: Yes you did.

WS: We were just friends but now it's much more than that.

RB: Your knack for picking trashy friends is getting better!
WS: I just do not think I can do this anymore. As much as it hurts me as well, I do not think I have it in me to fight.

BS: Me too. Just can't do this and losing the will to fight.
"What part of I don't want to be married to you don't you understand?"

"I agree. Wanting to be married and being married are not the same."

"I don't want to be with you anymore, I want a divorce."

"I agree. Not getting what you think you want can make you want it more."

what part of i dont want to be married to you dont you get/
BS: The when part.
ws: huh?

BS: You know, when....when did you not want t/b married to me?

I don't want to be with you anymore, I want a divorce
BS: You're right, I don't want to be with you 2. When R U going to get it?