We all came piling over to hear the K-K-K-razy! idea and.. its not so crazy. I like it, although....to counter that, your friend said, imagine if it were me, you would go on a 2 hour (4 hour roundtrip?) journey to meet me.. BUT...would you go on a 4 hour round trip *just* to meet your exBF for lunch???? And what would said exBF think of that gargantuan effort, just to meet for lunch?
I guess I feel that that is really going out of your way to see him and sends him a clear message you ARE very keen to see him. It might freak him out? Or just make him curious??
BUT.. I also think, you two have been getting on very well lately and this is a potent 2 weeks right now..and what have you got to lose? Nothing, the worst he could do is say no and I reckon he would either say yes, or just say sorry he is mega busy doing stuff (whatever it is he is doing in Maine... music stuff? In which case, he could be genuinely busy).
Miss you on my thread! You busy girl... Al xxx
Me:40! H:37 Together: 12yrs IDLY & left 11/07 ADs 03/08 OW 8/08 Reconciled 05/09 now married! my thread
you are so lovely to gallop over and check out my idea! Rrreally, you don't think it is too crazy?????
today is totally crazy busy... I am going to meet this special bag-designer to buy christmas presents, then I have a meeting with my teacher where we "discuss my future" (stressful) and then I have commencement (if I realized it was going to be a four hour time commitment to go to commencement I think I might have NOT bought a cap and gown) and then I have to go home and pack... and then I leave for the airport tomorrow morning. I could barely sleep last night, I just had a lot of anxiety.
Should I try to call him today? Just briefly, somehow squeeze in a light, friendly invite via phone? Should I do it over phone, or try to get a message to go straight to voicemail?
He told me himself he is "really free" today, tuesday, and wednesday... he has no rehearsals for the christmas concerts and is just hanging out in Maine.
It also depends on whether or not I can move my cello fix-it appointment from wednesday to friday... or I could just skip it?
I also realize that I keep bringing up how I want to "talk to him about my future because I am really confused." I realized yesterday that the last time I remember telling him I wanted to "talk about the future" it was when we were together, before I left Boston, and I wanted to make a plan as a couple for how we could stay together while I was in atlanta for grad school. So I wonder if me pressing him to talk about MY future now, is making him nervous, or reminding him of that? Though I think I've made it pretty clear that I just want some advice on my career.
I am thinking something like, "Hey, I just realized that you're going to be in maine, and I'm going to be in boston. do you want to meet up in maine for lunch or something on wednesday? If you're busy I totally understand. It would be great to see you!"
Am I just trying to make my life complicated now that things are finally settling down????
One more question. I used to go up to Maine and stay with him in his hotel (where all the out-of-town musicians stay for the orchestra rehearsals and concerts) for a little romantic getaway. Is it too loaded for me to even think about revisiting a place we shared that way? Do you think he will be afraid I want to sleep over? I think if I say something like "during the day" or "for lunch" it should make it clear that I am not expecting a sleepover but I just want to make sure... that I am not ... being too pursuing???
You're so funny!! Yes, just call him- don't worry about whether you get through to him or leave a voicemail- the point is to get to ask him if you can meet so either way will be fine! Saying you want to meet for lunch is fine- then he won't expect you to be staying for the evening. You could also say that you need to head back for the evening if you're really worried about that.
Also don't worry about discussing your career plans with him! He'll be flattered that you want his advice, and I'm pretty sure he won't see it as pressure/make him nervous. Is he the kind of guy who gets easily nervous or stressed at the thought of giving musical advice? If you've made it clear that you want advice on your career and aren't planning to ambush him into saying whether he wants to live together I'm sure you'll be fine!!
(((T))) sorry I haven't posted much. I would say do it, try it. I wouldn't mention the evening. Talk about meeting for lunch and then see how the day goes go with the flow for the rest of the day with no expectations.
I decided to call him. My phone was on the fritz (I think the problem is fixed now) but at the time it was going "BEEP" every 3 seconds. I called him, praying, "voicemail, voicemail" and then he picked up. For some reason the incessant beeping made it easier for me to stay lighthearted. We said hi and I told him about the beeping and he said he couldn't hear it and I was sort of laughing about the beeping and he asked if i had a question or something.
I said, "I had this crazy idea, I know it's really last minute and totally feel free to say No, you do not have to participate in this idea if you aren't feeling participational, but I was thinking, hey, I'm going to be in boston for a couple days this week, you are in Maine, why not try to meet you in Portland for lunch on wednesday or something? I'm sure you already have plans, but I thought I would just put it out there." He told me he actually isn't in Portland (where the bus goes to), he's in Gordon (or something?) which is outside of Portland. I jokingly asked if he was going on a snowshoeing expedition and he said "maybe". He said he would need to check his plans ("we are outside of portland")(again, what is this "we" business?) but maybe he could take a bus into portland to meet me (???) Then he said, "wow, you fly out today?" And I said, "No, i'm graduating today, but I fly out tomorrow!" And he said "congratulations" excitedly. I said, "OK, give me a call!" And he said he would (or something like that) and then I said bye and got off the phone. I could hear him smiling while we were talking. It was really nice.
Then I went to school, met with my teacher, had a relatively confusing talk about my future, put on my graduation regalia, found the georgia dome (football [not the kind with your feet, international readers] stadium) where graduation was, found the two friends from school I knew who were also graduating...
Graduation was actually nice. There were bagpipes at the beginning and end, very solemn and inspiring. The commencement speaker was great, I laughed AND cried. At the end there were firecrackers and streamers came down from the ceiling. We didn't actually walk across the stage, instead they mail us our degrees, but we did get to stand and cheer.
I am SO TIRED and I still have to pack for my trip tomorrow.
So, I haven't heard back from him yet. I want to give him space to figure out whatever he needs to figure out. But I need to confirm my plans with friends tomorrow... How long should I wait for him to get back to me? If he doesn't, how should I prompt him to respond??
Jeff, thank you for stopping by on my thread!!! (((JEFF)))
LOL ... I read too fast and thought that you said overboard on ways TO meet, now I re-read and realize you said I was going overboard on giving him ways OUT of meeting!!!
I like your suggestion. Normally I would just let him simmer for however he needed, but I need to tell my friends "asap" (their words, not mine) whether I'll be seeing them on wed or friday...
for guiding me through my neuroses and fears!!!!