What your h is saying is so typical of MLC. My h told my S when he was going through MLC that he hadn't loved me for a long time and that he wanted out of the M before my S was born. That was 25 years ago!
I would stop the R talk with your h for now. He isn't ready to hear any of it. It puts pressure on him and has a tendency to make them think of hurtful things to say so they don't feel so guilty.
