I am so sorry Corey. WE all seem to have this emotional stuff happening at the same time. Just be strong for your daughter. Let her ask all the questions she has. You are a great Mom and she will get through this.
hugs, kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
Yeah, you know what. I think our WAS tend to be crappy parents, not all of them true, but even the good ones are doing things that aren't for the best well-being of our kids. And then it seems like they always have us LBS who are stable, rock (star) types like you Corey!!! You're a great mom and the one good parent they really need (I can say this b/c I was raised by my single dad). ((((Corey)))))
I know they weren't any worse than what you really predicted as the worst case, but it still sucks.
Too bad he couldn't deal with DD. Always good that there is something more pressing than spending time with their child when the poor girl has just had the shock of her life.
Glad she has you around sweetie.
Just take care of you and her.
Don't let his problems be yours.
Hang in there.
Michelle - Proud DR Rockette S: 28JUL07, D'd: 29OCT09 http://tinyurl.com/27j9qo2
Thanks all. I have scheduled a IC appt for DD on Wed. DS has known about the pregnancy for a long time, so he was more prepared. His exact quote? "Man, hes such a F*cking Douchebag." I don't let my kids cuss as a general rule, but on this occasion I just had to sort of let it go. He and his best friend were in the computer room while DD was crying and he knew why and was so mad.
I also had a quick discussion with MIL on Saturday when I dropped DD off. I just let her know that I have no control over what she chooses to do in regards to this baby. I said that until both of my children knew and were comfortable with it, that they were not to be at her house when the other baby is there. That there would not be any interraction until they were/are comfortable with it and she agreed. I went on to say that if that is never, then never it is. My children are my #1 priority and I will not tolerate it being forced down their throats. She listened, but I could tell she wasn't very happy and frankly I really don't care. Not my problem.
Both K's have an appt on Dec. 22 for the c, but DD wanted/needed to go sooner. I'll keep you posted.
He did call and speak to her at one point yesterday when she was in hysterics and she just kept screaming at him "I don't want a new baby sister, I don't want a new baby sister!" She dropped the phone and I had to tell him what she was saying, but I was glad he got to hear her real reaction. A little bit of a reality check. He later told me that he thought we should have waited, etc. and I just told him if he thought her reaction would have ever been any better then he was just fooling himself. Her c has been telling me all along how bad it was/is going to be and it was pretty much on par with what I expected.
In talking with her yesterday I explained that it wasn't this baby's fault and asked if she understood that. I went on to say that the baby is as innocent in this as she is because that baby didn't have any control over being born into this situation, just as she didn't have any control over being forced into it. I asked her if she knew who was to blame and she said her dad and I said yes, your dad and his gf. Which then led to the "its not ok for married people to have bf/gf, right?" Shes a sharp kid and she gets it, but its just so sad. I explained to her that grown ups make mistakes and we also make decisions that end up affecting other people, or hurting them even though its not what is intended. I told her that she is allowed to feel anything she wants to, its ok and that I am here for her to talk to as well as her brother and her Dad too. She said she doesn't want to talk to "him" about it. Hopefully I did the right thing with her. I spoke from my heart and tried to put it into terms a little girl would understand. To his credit though (better late than never) when H called last night, he talked to her and told her that this didn't mean he loved her any less, that she is always going to be his first girl, his best girl...it was weak, but it was something.
M:39 H:39 K:S14;D8 T:22yr M:15yrs S:12/28/07 EA/PA 3/14/08 OW preg 11/17/08 born 12/12/08 his ~~~~~~~ Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option
I'm so sad for your kids. This situation is so horrible and kids should never have to face these things. I'm so glad you have counseling appointments for them very soon. Poor babies.
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43 bomb12/4/07 PA5/07 S12/26/07 D final 11/17/08 Back together with no defined R 05/2010 confused....to say the least!!!
So sorry you're having to go through all this!! It sounds like you're being the strong and loving Corey we all know in dealing with this. But if you feel like whining and crying, please go for it. Or trashing the troll or anything.
I like his response well you should have waited, like it wasn't just his fault for all this, but yours in telling her the truth!So glad you don't let him get away with his bs!!! (((Corey))))
