God grant me the patience and the strength...9

[theotherhalf]

Okay Snodderly. I am listening. I am honestly trying to be open minded here...

You say if anything it has driven him farther away. I honestly think that that isn't so. A year ago my H didn't spend one night here let alone days or weeks like recently. He was so very angry towards me most of the time. Now it is only when he has done something he feels guilty about or when I apply to much pressure. Back then H was drinking excessivly ALL of the time. Now it is less and less, mostly weekends or again when he is feeling bad. What he pulled the other night was one night. Not many consequetive nights like before. I believe he comes here now because he WANTS to not because of obligation or guilt. I don't ask or suggest. He just shows up. He laughs with me. He talks to me (only about everyday stuff). None of that was happening a year ago. He has asked me to do things with him. At times recently he has talked about the future. Few and far between but he has. I trust him now, I don't think now I have to leave the door locked like I did before. I am not worried about him getting in here when I'm gone. And last Tuesday night my H made love to me (at least it felt like it). HE initiated, HE caressed me, HE kissed me. That my dear has not happened in a very very long time.

So I don't know that I can say it's "working" because he is still gone, not talking, and once again has went to OW. But I don't feel like he is farther away. I feel like he is closer but scared as hell or mad that he is, or being stubborn as an ox, or something. But it's not farther away.

Can you see where I am confused?