..I've got this sense that things are at a standstill, or an end, in my sitch. I keep talking, talking here, but thats for me, to deal with the fallout of what the last year has done to me. He hasnt contacted me now for 2 1/2 weeks. Other than hearing he didnt want to talk to his BMF, else it would "upset him", I am operating in a vacuum. Last Friday I had resolved to call him tonight if I hadnt heard from him, but then I forgot and I feel like I cant. How strange. Why cant I call this man I care about, that I have known since I was 24???
Becuase I lost it for 10 minutes in a layby and let him know I still care? That he said he found it hard to talk? That he would contact me when he got back, so I wait? Ok, enough musing..off to bed.
