Oh Sweetie! I just got home from the doctor's office and came in and turned to your post first. I am in tears b/c I am so proud of the strength you have found to do this. I do believe it came from God and it is Him that you will have to continue to draw from b/c Amy is right......you know, she is down the road a little in front of you so she can tell you what to expect. Don't think that the devil won't try his "stuff" to get you upset or feel defeated, but the Bible says, "stronger is He (God) that is in you, than he (the devil) that is of the world." How much more power does a person need?
I wanted to bring out the horn blowers and balloons but then I felt such a .....I don't know what word to use.....solemn feeling, like a thankfulness that you finally realized that you are loved and that you are valuable. I am so thankful that you at last found your self respect again. If your H does not come to his senses, I know that there will be somebody waiting in the wings that is looking for a person like you, somebody that wants to care for you and cherish you and love you and treat you like his queen. That is what you deserve. (Yes, I know I have said this before.) Anyway, I hope that your H will be that man, but if he isn't........that is okay, b/c there will be somebody better. It's not that I try to encourage divorce in these matters, but when a person has tried all they can, even Michelle tells in her book to "drop the rope" as the last resort. Moving on will be your next step. Yes, you are doing the right thing by not showing any anger and just being pleasant, etc. That is perfect!! Christmas....wow....I hope you can keep it up sweetie, and not start "thinking" about the future and get all emotional on yourself b/c you really need to keep that PMA going for ya. As soon as possible, if not before, get started with that "moving on" part of your life. I like what (I think it was Wifey) said about having his stuff packed and waiting. That was priceless and sounded so much like what I would do.....LOL....guess that is why I liked it, huh? But she is right and it will show him you mean business and are not going to shed tears on him anymore (not any he will see at least) and that you are through and ready to start living a life without him. Not to sound hard hearted, but what do you have to lose? Don't say a H b/c you don't have him. But you do have everything to gain. A bright new future with all kinds of possibilities. Sure you will be nervous at first, but you have so many here that will be cheering you on and helping you to keep building that self convidence. You will make it, sweetie. I know you will. You are smart and I believe you have the "right stuff".
You sound so good and to think that most of this seems to have happen just the past few days. Looks like 2009 is going to be your year. It can be....if you make it be.
Love and best wish always, Sandi
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
