I don't recognize her anymore

[faithisbelieving]

theoden..can you email me thru frank_d?

I guess...I should update a bit better from time to time. It is now one year since I filed. My W has gone through some bitter anger and has disdain for me. Of late, I think she has moved more into indifference. My daughter makes comments to me that are not unexpected to hear with regards to two people going thru a divorce:
-"mommy says you can't be friends for a few years"
-"mommy says she has to be apart from you"
My daughter is now, as she grows older, beginning to recognize the division and is becoming sad:
"-daddy, I am sad that you and mommy aren't friends anymore".

Last night, at bedtime, I put her to sleep and an unexpected question came up:
-dad, how did you and mommy meet and fall in love?"

In the dark...I stroked her brow...and I told her the whole story, leaving out the latter difficult details.

My daughter was sad. "Daddy, why can't you and mommy be friends again?" I told that we were ALL going to be happy again...that I will ALWAYS be her daddy...that I will ALWAYS take care of her..that I am ALWAYS here to listen to her and that she can ALWAYS come to daddy to talk.

Does anyone here....ever..move past THIS part of the sadness? The pain that the kids go thru?

I know the overall tone is sad in this post, but, I am in a better place than I was a year ago. I still have my moments of sadness and grieving, but, the woman that lives with me...I don't recognize anymore. Pardon my language, but, she could give a flying $hit about what is going on in my life. As nic says...we are divorcing. I agree..this is divorce.

In response to my recent inquiry to her..about dividing up the holidays, this is her verbatim response, typewritten for me:

Yes..I agree. Thanksgiving went very well and everyone enjoyed their day.

Christmas and Chanukah are fast approaching and with a view to your message, this is what I believe will work best for all of us.

On the first night of Chanukah, I wish to be at home with the children to celebrate and open presents, December 22. Later in the evening of course, they are free to be with your family.

The remaining days of the Chanukah holiday will be celebrated by you with the children with the exception of Dec. 24 evening when we will be having dinner with my brother. On Christmas morning Dec. 25, I wish to spend time with the children and you opening Christmas presents. later in the day, the children and myself will be spending the day with my parents.

New Year's Eve--well, it is my turn this year. I'm sure that you'll remember that you celebrated New Year's Eve with them last year. This year, everything being equal, it is my turn to be with them.
New Years Day is open for further discussion.
Thanks.
XXX

FIB