Hm...just got off the phone with my sister and she thinks I should hold off on sending this note - or saying anything until after the holidays...not with the hope of anything changing - just because based on how my W has been in the past - my sending her something like this now might push her into a new kind of anger...and there will already be plenty of emotions going around and around without adding this note to the mix...so...I think it's good advice and will hold off...and will also keep thinking about what I want to say...
Here's where I am right now: I love my wife. I am detached. I cannot be with the person she has become. I am focusing on my children. I am working harder. I am looking for more work. I am sad at times - but not devastated - and not feeling hopeless - since my sense of hope is no longer tied in to my W and my M. I miss what we used to do over the holidays...especially since I show my love by giving gifts...but I am realizing that in detaching I am giving my Wife a gift of unconditional love - the very type of love she thinks I cannot give. I'm sleepy.
