TOH, The first thing you must do is understand that what you've been doing for the last year has not worked. If anything, it's driven him further away and you are very frustrated about the entire situation. It's never going to change unless YOU change the way you are handling it.
1. DO NOT PHONE HIM! DO NOT CONTACT HIM!
2. If he makes contact, be calm and collected, speak to him in an even tone, just as if you were speaking to a receptionist at the school or doctor's office.
3. Do not try to get him to open up to you....he's not going to do it because he's not ready and your reactions set him back.
4. Start living your life as if he's never coming back. You have to find a way to accept the fact that he's gone and right now, he doesn't give a fig what you do, how you feel or anything else. It's all about him.
5. Live your life to the fullest without him. Spend the time focusing on your children, family and friends.
6. Find something to keep your focused and your hands busy.
7. No expectations...zero, in fact. Do not expect anything from him. He has nothing to give right now.
8. Focus on you and your children.
9. Have faith and tons of patience.
10. Keep quiet, listen and validate if he should speak to you.
This is a start. If something isn't working, try something different.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
