I agree with Ali, it pisses me off too. Know what? Your XW is a bitch. Get out from under this house, resolve the debt, and you are blessedly free from her. No need for contact, no need for nastigrams.

My XW has a habit of ordering the kids around, even when they are with me, then expecting me to somehow read her mind about what she told them. She called bitchin at me that I let our son drive in what appeared to be a minor snowstorm (although from her reaction you'd think it was the storm of the century). I just said, "what can I do about it now? It already occurred. So basically you are just calling to bitch." She started spewing at me, so I just hung up. The beauty of not caring what she says. It is so wonderfully liberating when you realize that you don't have to even communicate when your ex is being a... When visitation starts running smoothly, you might not have to talk to her for months at a time. Sometimes it's uncomfortable at events you both have to go to, but people like your XW (and mine), thrive on creating drama. It's best to remove yourself from their little drama.

You cannot be lonely if you like the person you're alone with. Dr. Wayne Dyer