Didnt know where to start the new one... I am staying here. Officially I am again separated. H wants to talk to me tomorrow. I feel I can see things for what they really are now. Maybe I am wrong. But I know I am not that far from the point of no return, either way this goes... K
Yay! First! Hey Kalni... gosh.. he wants to talk to you !? Well looks like you finally got his attention! Maybe he is waking up a little (!?) Must be a day for it.. MichelleT is talking to her H too tommorow.
How you feeling about that..are you just going to listen to what he has to say and then decide?
What a fine job you did Lan!!! Thanks! The way I am going I will be hitting 100 threads either divorced or "happily married ever after"... (no laughing please)!!
Yes Al, I will listen to him. He called this morning early, wanted to know if we are still going away. I told him he could take the kids and go. Then he asked about the MC on Thursday. I told him I would cancel. Then he got really mad. I asked if he was mad and he said he was because I told him I am done via TM.I asked him if that was all he was mad about. He said yes. I told him I couldnt help him with that. Anyway, we talked a bit and got in a heated discussion because he told me "I didnt want to try, he was and I wasnt...".
Later I sent him an email, once again, about many things. He replied "I am meeting you at your work tomorrow, we cant talk about this via email, and I wasnt mad, I was deeply upset and sad". So, we'll see... K
Got a scare from my mom today. She suddenly couldnt move her one side, was feeling her stomach upset and her one side of her face was "dead". She had high blood pressure and my dad called me and was terrified. Two hours later she felt better... Thank God!! (enough to make me revaluate, yet again...)(life has a way to quiet us down)
Your mother needs to get to the doctor ASAP! It sounds like she may have had a mini-stroke. It could be a pre-cursor to a major stroke. Please have her go first thing in the morning. My Grandpa had the same problem and wouldn't go. Two days later he was dead from a massive stroke and an annyeurism. Please implore her. It can't hurt to be checked out.
Good luck with your meeting tomorrow. Maintain your calm and listen. Who knows, maybe he can say something to change your mind.
Michelle
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43 bomb12/4/07 PA5/07 S12/26/07 D final 11/17/08 Back together with no defined R 05/2010 confused....to say the least!!!
And for what its worth I think it is good he admitted he was upset and sad, not mad. I think my H comes across "mad" a lot when it is other emotions he doesn't know how to show.
You go away for a while and have so much to read. I just keep falling further and further behind.
I am not going to go back and quote a bunch of people.. I am just going to shoot from the hip.
A big theme thru a lot of the postings is "Why".. Why can't he see. Why can't he act. Why is he like this.
To me.. I kinda expected what you are dealing with right now. Again it does not fit my time table but.. I still expected that we would end up somewhere like this. The "uncertainty" phase.. I guess you could call it.
I talk a lot about "timing" and how it never seems that LBS/WAS can get it right. As a general thought.. I can see the "timing" just really screwed up here. I don't really know why.. but it always seems to happen this way.
The LBS stops looking to the WAW and looking to a new life.. that is when the WA.. really starts paying attention.
I still think you are asking too much.. too quickly. I do.
I also think that he is doing the same thing.
Both of you have your expectations really high.. yet they are completely different "Expectations".
You want him to be warm and caring and "action" his words.
He wants almost the same thing.
Part of what I see is the "pride" getting in the way.. Why should I do "X"?
You both seems to be asking this question of yourselves.. but again with way different "X's" as the question.
He has gone from someone who did not care about losing you to someone who did.
You have gone the opposite way.
As with everything else that happens here (DB.com) it is a cycle.
I have had a strong feeling to just tell you to stop doing anything for a few weeks. The sad part about it is the "frustration" level I feel from this.. is coming from him. That is a big change for me when reading your posts. As hard as it is to believe the man is really scared.. to me. And he is reacting this way because of that. I can actually see some begging and pleading coming up soon.
I don't know that I have anything specific to say right now other than just "chill" for a little while. I see you putting yourself out there.. and only getting hurt in return.
Anyway.. sorry I have not been around much.. just my "Crazy" life.
Relax Eat Think Act normal React.. Smartly. Do something different. Emulate. Do Work.
I hope the conversation goes well tomorrow. Interesting that he said he was trying and you weren't. I'd be intrigued to hear what he wanted to see as evidence of you trying, or what he thought you should be doing above what you had been.
I want to reiterate what Ali and Mishka said. Your Mum needs to go to a vascular consultant and to have a cholesterol and BP scan, and also a carotid duplex ultrasound. If she's not on a statin medication, she needs to ask to be on one. There are prescribing guidelines for these, but they are pretty safe and available without prescription in the UK. She should also ask about anti-thrombotic medication. Oh, and a bowl of porridge every morning if she can stomach it (no sugar or salt!).
It never rains but it pours doesn't it. Thinking of you,
"... I was thinking how can I get mad at someone for not giving something he doesnt have? If he had "it" I could get mad. But he doesnt. Not now at least ..." You know he does not have "it" yet you demand "it" ... and you are getting mad and driving him mad too. This is a bottomless pit, a black hole, a strong evil force ... the one the WAW falls into ... my W got sucked in ... K, FG's last post - exactly my reading too.
BTW what become of your visit to the monk on Dec13 ?
(no laughing please)!!