Hmmmmm I went to the hospital and I took fruit and drink for him. This was recieved with open hands and gobbled up straight away as he was hungry. Not sure I heard a word of thanks.
When he spoke of op etc he just looked at D18 - he relies heavily upon her. After a while he started to look at me and when the nurse took vitals etc he looked at me for reassurance etc. soon i noticed his gaze following me like you do when your a couple. This was after about half an hour.
THEN he was still hungry ( so much for private hospital ) so I went to a supermarket and got chocolate, CCs etc. He did thank me for that.
THEN i asked him about putting a roof rack on to of one of our cars so that I could transport our kayak to our holiday home. ( Actually so our sone could transport the kayak ) and he said
"OH YOU want to put a roof rack on one of your cars , oh I am not sure what you need "
I said " should I go to super cheap auto and show them "
He shrugged.
Problem - We own a huge mechanical workshop with employees. Cars is his thing. He was just firing one of those - ' i wont help you anymore '
F^%$ F &^% - His son is the one who needs to be safe !!!!!!!
I was fuming on the inside but kept it together. On the way home my son who is in the middle of an apprenticeship at another workshop ( so that we don't smack of nepotisium at ours - go figure , my son will take his fathers business over one day ) . My son said " I will take the car to my work and do it there with my bosses supervision and we will bill dads work for it "
Great idea. H ends up paying retail for parts and labor which would of only cost him peanuts. Bas^&*(.
Result - another string severed for me. I felt real anger for the first time and I woke feeling a little more.
i think OW is a non event and frankly today I dont care. H has never ever mentioned D. His idea is that we spend a few years apart and then lets see - probably get back together. Well that is what he is telling everyone including our kids . WTF !
Well it is hours later and I think I wrote the above post in anger and I dont really feel that. I am so explosive.
I think also I analyse, make more of things than they really are. H has moved on and thats that. I should not make more of it than that.
Sounds so stupid when I think - " Oh he looked at me blah blah blah.
I have been working on my responsibilty in all this ie my affair.
I can understand how hard it was for H to see the car I met OM in and the phone etc. I understand how he needed me to get rid of those. Also every week H had to watch our daughters play netball on the courts where I used to meet OM. That must of been gut wrenching. It was good that he put the kids needs first here.
i also understand how he does not like our home , I did meet OM here once but in a spare room on the bottom floor. It was not a planned meeting , OM just turned up and wanted to .... It was a non event and lasted all up probably 5 min but enough that our home became tainted.
But our kids live here and nothing should come between a parent and the kids. I know no one would stuff up my relationship with the kids.
i suppose if there was OW , then H should be happy. I cant keep on hoping that i will win him over. I saw and learnt that the grass was not greener on the other side but that was my lesson.
Than you for all those that helped me through the good and the bad. Through my venting and through my angry words. lots i did not mean in hindsight but felt at the time.
